Day 48: Mind-Nomming Flash Games

Oh look! A blog post that's actually ON TIME :D

Now, as much fun as this summer may have been, there were probably times where you just had absolutely NOTHING to do. You might have attempted to thwart this boredom by reading a book (but not for school...you had to keep your procrastination streak in check), or playing with your dog (or cat, or hamster, or cockatoo.....yes, a cockatoo is a pet, my Aunt owns one).

You may have even attempted to keep up your blog (something I /definitely/ did over the summer....).

However, if you are a computer-loving teenager like I am, you most likely spent countless hours playing mind-nomming flash games on the Interwebs.

Following my adventure in Germany (and France...see Day 47), I was stuck with a few weeks of monotonous downtime. Sure, I did my work...most of it anyway...but I also spent a good amount of time finding the best flash games on the internet. Here are some of my favorites!:

The Impossible Quiz: The Impossible Quiz was a game that was actually recommended to me back in the fall of 2009. When it says impossible, it really means "frustratingly tedious and a catalyst for mental breakdowns". Basically, the quiz asks you a number of ridiculous questions that actually have no trivia value whatsoever. Each question is, theoretically, a puzzle in which you have to outsmart the creator with a creative answer. It takes ages to accelerate through the quiz, and I only made it as far as question 89 (losing after question 60 produces feelings that may resemble someone having a stroke). The nice thing about the game though, is that it rewards you with a "skip" after answering ten questions. These come in handy with the most mundane questions....but be warned, they may come of use later....

You can find the Impossible Quiz here. Want more? Play the sequel!

I don't even: "I don't even" is a flash game based on the internet meme "What is this? I don't even", which is a phrase used to convey speechlessness in a forum or internet community. The game comes with no instructions and you just...well...go for it! The reason why its called "I don't even" is apparent after the first 3 to 4 screens. The challenges are ridiculous, random, and occasionally really difficult to attempt. It takes several attempts in order to understand what you have to look for, but once you complete it you get this overwhelming sense of accomplishment....I KNOW I DID!!!!!

...does that mean I'm crazy?

...anyway, you can play I don't even here. (also note that the game is entirely written in the language of the lulz.....enjoy).

Obey The Game: Obey The Game is one of a series of "elephant flash games" from Armor Games, a popular contributor to addictinggames.com (I really hope for your sake that you've been to that website...did it define your middle school life too?). The premise of Obey The Game is rather simple....you obey the game ^.^

You control an elephant through a series of levels in which you complete the action of the word in the background. However, if the screen flashes the word "DISOBEY" before the start of the level, you must do the opposite of the word states. For instance, if "DISOBEY" flashes before your level, and the word in the background of your level reads "Suicide", then I would advise you not to jump into the deadly spikes of terror located to your left.

The levels get faster and faster and eventually it becomes physically impossible to survive...*in movie trailer voice* "WILL YOU SURVIVE?"

Also note that the game constantly blares techno music at you, so if you don't want to end up bashing your computer to bits in a move of sudden rage...I'd advise you to mute it. You can play Obey The Game here.

This is the only level: Here is the second of the three "elephant flash games" up for review today on YDCoH. This one is a little less intense than Obey The Game, but it certainty challenges your puzzle-solving abilities. Each stage of the level (and yes, there is actually only one level), has a certain title, and you have to complete that stage using the title as a hint. For instance, if the title of the stage is something like "backwards", you must realize that the controls are now backwards, and you use this knowledge to successfully complete the stage. The stages are easier than they look, so don't repeatedly murder your elephant and rage quit...sometimes the answers are right there! You can play This is the only level here. Want more? Try This is the only level too.

Achievement Unlocked 2: Hey, look! I saved the most frustrating yet mind-nomming flash game for last! Yet another "elephant flash game", this game will make achieve...things. 250 things to be exact. Some of these "achievements" require no thought at all, such as pressing the start button or visiting the main menu before actually playing the game. However, some achievements cover the most tedious tasks such as playing ode to joy on the piano and pooping pastries (yes, elephants from Armor Games have some mild digestive problems). About 80 percent of the achievements can be achieved in ten minutes or so, but the last 20 can take upwards of an /hour/ to complete. If this isn't the definition of mind-nomming...I have no clue what is. You may play it at your own risk, but be warned...

....NEVER....

...EEEEEEEEVER...

...PRESS THE BACKSPACE BUTTON AT ANY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It might make you lose all your achievements after completing ninety percent of the game. It happened to me. My heart died a little inside. Do you want your heart to die a little inside? I didn't think so...

Aside from the dangers of the backspace button, the game really is a great way to cure even the worst case of boredom, so I stamp it with the seal HaufeCoffee of Approval (Yeah, its just another Chiquita sticker....). You can play Achievement Unlocked 2 here. Want to see where it all began? Play Achievement Unlocked 1!

Unfortunately, as summer comes to a close, these games will fall behind in our lives as summer boredom ceases to be an issue. However, YDCoH has something that will never die...music! (Wouldn't it be tragic if the story told in American Pie by Don McLean actually happened? D:)

Today's recommendation comes from the alternative-rock band Paramore. Paramore is most famous for their hit sophomore album "Riot", which featured a fast paced punk-rock sound. Their new album, "brandneweyes", goes in a different direction, however. The sound is a bit more mellow, and its a sign of how the band is growing up. This is best shown in Paramore's recent hit "The Only Exception". Yeah, sure, the lyrics may be a bit cheesy, but her voice and the acoustic guitar really make a great combo. Check it out!

Have you been dying to comment on my delightful posts? Are you a normal teenager who is too lazy get a blogger account? Well worry no longer! I have recently adjusted the settings so that anyone can comment on any post under the title "Anonymous". Just remember, any hateful comments will be burned in a vat of acid...

...nah, I'll just delete them. Do you have any idea how much toxic waste costs nowadays?

I've rambled on long enough, G'night Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee

Day 47: C'est La Vie? C'est Penible!

*Note: This blog post, believe it or not, was written on time. It is being posted a day late due to technical difficulties. The picture above depicts a "Fail" on the French flag. Why? Read and find out...

Bonjour fellow readers (and that about covers my mastery of the French Language XD).

Why all French all the sudden? It’s simple really...Air France screwed me over this summer, so now I get to rant about it ONLINE :D

But first, a little background info. In case you weren't aware, I was in Germany for most of the summer living with a native family in a small village about 50 kilometers north of Berlin (that’s about 30 miles for all you guys stateside). The trip was life-altering, and I made a number of good friends, a number of unforgettable experiences, and a little more progress mastering the German language (Aber jetzt, ich muss mein Deutsch mehr ueben).

The five week adventure was a wonderful vacation indeed...until I had to leave. The tearful goodbye at Berlin's Tegel Airport was hard enough, but I had no idea what lay ahead of me in terms of getting back home as a sane teenage blogger....(yes, I realize I am already insane, but thats not the point...)

My flight (Air France) was supposed to connect in Paris for the Mid-Atlantic, but mother nature said "HEY NOW, WHERE YOU GOIN BOY!?! Nah-ah, you ain't goin nowhere near Paris...you gonna go be stranded in Lyon son." (Mother nature has a southern accent? Conspiracy....).

Anyways, in case that didn't make sense, my plane was diverted to Lyon (on the other side of France mind you) because of bad weather in Paris. We were grounded in Lyon for three and a half hours, and during that time I was trapped on the plane...(we wouldn't be allowed back on the plane if we left to get fresh air!!!). Worried about what to do when I would miss my connection in Paris, I asked the flight attendant about what to do....and you know what he did? He laughed at me!!!! Me, HaufeCoffee, ruler of YDCoH. How dare he do such a thing? XD.

But seriously, he didn't care for me much at all, and that was really distressing. Luckily, a German woman sitting next to me (I love the German people!) stood up for me and told him how much of a jerk he was for laughing at a stranded teenager whose home was more than 4,000 miles away. Thanks to this kind woman, the attendant apologized and finally helped me with some /useful/ information (instead of the usual "you're stuck in France man...sucks for you.").

Kudos to that German woman...she wins the HaufeCoffee award for "Total Awesomeness in the midst of an International Travel Fiasco".

I finally made it to Paris...and missed my flight by four hours. I was able to make it to the service counter, and after waiting in a DMV style line (I know you all love those), I was able to sort everything out. The next flight would be the following morning, and I'd get a voucher for a free dinner at the airport, a ticket for a hotel stay, and a free breakfast. Things couldn't get much worse right? WRONG!

First of all, the directions to the hotel were small and vague (and conveniently in French), so it took me about 30 minutes to make it there. I walked into the hotel to check in, but the guy there just shook his head and told me: "sorry sir, you're at the Ibis hotel Charles De Gaulle....you want the Ibis hotel /Roissy/."

Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmnit

So then, after catching a second bus taking me about 5 miles from the Airport, I made it to my real hotel, which was (naturally) more sketchy and not as nice as the original hotel. I checked in, got to my room, made an emergency Skype call to the folks to sort out the situation, and before I knew it, it was 10pm.

And I forgot to eat dinner >.<

The free dinner voucher I had received was only valid for the airport, and since the airport was further away from the hotel than I thought it would be....it was a lost cause at this point.

The hotel had a French buffet set up until 10:30, so I went down quickly to get some grub. The buffet consisted of fancy meat loaf and mashed potatoes....yummy :P.

While I was eating, I noticed that the waitress and one of the cooks were looking at me funny, and I got really nervous (I'm stranded in the middle of a foreign country alone, I don't speak the language, and now the natives are staring at me...eeek!). Eventually, the cook came up to me and started rambling about something in French and of course I was completely lost. "Parlez Anglais? (Speak English.)", was the only thing I could squeak out, and I guess he realized I was yet another American, because he left. Next to ramble at me in French was the waitress, and at this point I decided the blank stare would give them the answer they needed (the answer being: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL Y'ALL WANT!!!!). Finally, the waitress pointed at the dessert portion of the buffet and said in broken english "eat dessert?" "No," I firmly replied, and they finally left me alone.....sheesh.

I got up to pay, and suprise suprise, my meal of fancy meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and water cost 19 euros (25 dollars). 19!?!?! I could get a meal like that at KFC for 4 /dollars/. But at the end of the day, I didn't care anymore, and I left as a poorer stranded American. (Lucky for me, I did not eat the dessert....it would have been five euros extra :P).

Thankfully, the night was uneventful, and I woke up the next morning on time and was ready to go. I actually enjoyed the free breakfast I had (sure it didn’t have the good ol' eggs and bacon, but it did feature some delicious Quiche). Maybe I wouldn't have anymore troubles...right?

Nope, the French had one more thing in store for me. I decided to wait for the bus inside the hotel, because waiting at the bus stop alone was a little sketchy. Unfortunately, when the bus approached the empty stop, the driver assumed it was ok to drive right past it. NOT COOL. I bolted through the lobby with my luggage and spun my way through the rotating doors. By the time I was outside, the bus was already pulling way. It took me sprinting down the road, yelling and waving my arms, for the bus to finally stop and pick me up. It was probably the most ridiculous thing I had done in a very long time (and if you know me, that means a /lot/), but in the end I made it, and from there on out I had no troubles. The flight to the Mid-Atlantic was on time, and before I knew it I was back stateside eating a chick-fil-a biscuit...

Just to clarify, I have no hatred toward the French people...in fact, I think their culture is a rather interesting one. However, due to travel inconvenience and a language barrier, my stay in France was most certainly not a fun one. At least it makes for a good story....and blog post :D.

This post has lasted way longer than the norm, so I'm going to leave music recommendations for next time. I hope you enjoyed my French fiasco story...

and remember...

...fly Royal Dutch Airlines or Lufthansa if possible ;).

G'night Interwebs!!!

--HaufeCoffee

P.S.: C'est La Vie? C'est Penible! = That's Life? That's Annoying!

Aber jetzt, ich muss mein Deutsch mehr ueben. = But now, I must practice my German more.

Day 46: Rebirth

Greetings everyone, and welcome to the newly redesigned "Your Daily Cup of HaufeCoffee"!!!

It's not exactly bigger (its actually quite smaller after some archive renovation), or necessarily better (although I sincerely hope you think otherwise), but its definitely a nice change from the long hiatus that has stood since mid-march. I've made a number of changes in order to get the blog back in the right direction.

First off, we're all back to the Day system, because that seemed to work out the first time around. For the first few weeks, blog posts will be updated on a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. However, once we all get into the groove of things (and I come up with enough material to entertain y'all in the most splendid way possible), posts will become daily again. True, the blog's namesake is being cheated a little, but we all like to bend the rules now and then, don't we?

Secondly, all blog posts from April, May, and June have been deleted. They all seemed to stray away from the general purpose on the blog, and about half of the text consisted of apology after apology for my ignorance (I know right? I'm such a horrible person XD). If you would like to see these posts, however, I have copied and pasted them into a word document for your convienence. Just shoot me an email at heidelberg28@gmail.com, and I'll be sure to send it your way.

Lastly, although I am the supreme ruler of this virtual kingdom, I am in desperate need of your assistance. If you are a skilled blogger, and you know your way around programming blogs with widgets and gadgets and anything else that would make YDCoH totally rock, could you help me? Any tips on what I could do to make this place more interesting would be greatly appreciated ^.^

So, with the business out of the way, let's get on to more pressing matters, like MUSIC RECOMMENDATIONS

In the past few weeks I've discovered a ton of new music that I've been itching to post on the interwebs. I'll get most of these to you in the weeks to come, but today I want to focus on one amazing artist: Regina Spektor

Seriously, this woman is one of the most talented singers I've ever come across. Her voice can cover octaves and stretch notes like no other musician, and her songwriting skills are some of the best I've seen. Her songs are uplifting and hard to resist. Even her tragic songs are enjoyable to listen to...her music just cannot disappoint.

Hard to believe? Well why don't you listen for yourself?:

-Laughing With

-On the Radio

-Apres Moi

-Eet

-Dance Anthem of the 80's

-Edit

-Better

-The Calculation

Those are just a few of my favorites, but if you're really interested, you should check out more of her works, especially from her latest album "Far".

I know y'all want more that just posts filled with nothing but music recs, and I promise, that is not going to happen. I have a plan...and it involves a french fiasco, a demon with the brain of a puppy, a word of caution regarding siblings with "I'm with stupid" T-shirts, edible Asians, Chinese food with /no/ relation to gravy, and reasons why Achievement Unlocked 2 is one of the most frustrating flash games EVER made.

Have no idea what the hell I'm rambling about? Well stay tuned ;)

G'night Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee

Day 45: I Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Day 45 was a Sunday. I usually detest these days...I mean who would want the weekend to end so soon? I don't want to fill out more APUS journals thank you very much...

Lucky for me, its Spring Break, so Sunday played out quite nicely. I got to see another drama about a mental institution (I've been seeing a lot of these lately....I wonder if this says something about me <.< >.>) and I discovered a classic song that you guys are bound to enjoy, but first, let's take a trip over the cuckoo's nest...

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" was originally a novel written by Ken Kesey in 1962. Eventually, director Milos Forman made a film out of it in 1975, starring a young Jack Nicholson as the lead character. It was the second film in history to win all five major Academy Awards in the same year (a feat that would not be matched until 1991's "Silence of the Lambs"). It's considered by many critics as one of the greatest films in American cinema. Is that enough incentive to make you go see it? (Ok, maybe I got that information from Wikipedia, but if its the general public writing these articles, doesn't that mean they favor this movie over all others?).

On the way home from church (yes, I'm a Christian, deal with it), I encountered a classic 80's hit that I just /needed/ to recommend for the blog. It's called "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman. Hopefully that sounds familiar to you. If not, you need to take a listen...this song has been on the radio for as long as I can remember, and I have yet to become tired of it.

Yes, I know this entry sucked. There just hasn't been a lot going on lately....and the fact that my mind has turned into the equivalent of an obese couch-potato undergoing a midlife-crisis hasn't helped. Not to worry though, I'm taking a rather exciting holiday soon...one that might interest many of you. More on that later :)

My wings are tired and I can't find the damn Cuckoo's Nest. I guess we'll just have to try and find it tomorrow....

G'night Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee

Day 44: The Bird And The Worm

Ok, so I lied about 6:30, but I have a really good reason for that...

...

...

haha, I just lied to you again! wow, you're so gullible...

Day 44 was a Saturday with a very very dismal morning: SCHOOL :'(.

In the end though, it wasn't that bad, and before I knew it I was on Spring Break...in early March...how epic is that?

My Spring Break started off with a trip to the movies...not a voluntary trip mind you; I had to take my brother and sister to see Alice in Wonderland. Contrary to what I was thinking prior to entering the theater ("Great, Disney is going to remake a classic film that doesn't need to be remade and its gonna end up as a crappy contemporary-themed film that'll end up suffocating me in my chair"), I thought that the film turned out nicely. It's very different from the original Disney classic, so it can't be specifically classified as a remake (a good thing in my opinion), but it still retains that Disney charm it has 50 years ago (give or take a decade). If you're cool and open about going to see Disney movies in theaters, you should check out Alice in Wonderland.

I made an interesting musical discovery a couple days ago. I was watching the trailer for the new Clash of the Titans movie (its gonna be a sick movie) and I noticed that the instrumental music accompanying the trailer was a pretty decent alternative jam. I decided to research the song on youtube and I came across the song "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. However, as I scrolled down the search results, I realized that Owl City also has a song called "The Bird and the Worm". Naturally I decided to listen to both....and I almost died laughing. The juxtaposition of these songs is hilarious. One minute you're spitting metal and screams from the Used version, and then you're suddenly a happy-go lucky synth playing artist from Minnesota. What comparison could be more ridiculous? Take a listen to both, and see what I mean...

I know I promised a marathon, but quite frankly my brain is fried (perhaps it was because I was looking up the dynamics of an atomic bomb on wikipedia right before writing this....why you ask?...I really have no clue). I'll attempt to catch up tomorrow...

maybe ;)

G'night Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee

Day 43: HaufeCoffee Marathon!

So, I've been slacking off lately, but who can blame me? It's spring break, I'm tired, and I just wanna sleep the weekend away. However, I still have an obligation to serve you guys entertainment on a daily basis, so today I'm posting four blog entries in a row to catch up to Day 46. Let's see if I can pull it off...

Day 43 was a Friday I believe, and unlike most Friday's, this one sucked...completely. I actually had to do work because we had school the next day. Work!?!?! on a Friday night!?!?!...heresy!

*sigh* gotta love boarding school...

Friday's recommendation I discovered from this really trippy video about fractals and the Mandelbrot set (ring any bells from good ol' pre-cal?). It's called "Take A Bow" by Muse. Keep in mind while you're listening to it that all of us here at YDCoH do not wish for you to burn in hell, contrary to what the song might tell you....

1 down, 3 to go...the next update should be around 6:30

G'afternoon Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee

Day 42: A Placeholder for the OCD

It's day 42!!! (Don't Panic!!!)

You may be expecting an exciting and enthusiastic blog entry considering the number 42 is the answer to everything and anything of the universe (It's in the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy...look it up), but alas this entry is merely a placeholder since I'm a day behind and I'm reasonably OCD about having the same number of blog entries as days (if that ever gets messed up, I might just vomit on the spot....not really, because that would be rather disgusting and unsanitary, but you get the idea).

Tonight's recommendation is a special one, especially since its going to be recommended on the 42nd blog entry (can you tell I like the number 42?). I recommend "Spaceman" from the Killers' new album "Day & Age". Spaceman has a strange collection of lyrics (it tells the story of a man being abducted by aliens), but it still retains the signature style of the Killers...a style we all love and enjoy. Also:

"Spaceman" = Earthians in outer space = Arthur Dent in outer space = Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy = 42...or the answer to everything and anything of the universe :). Name anything, and I'll guarantee it relates to 42 in some bizarre, stretched way. Everything also relates to cake, but thats another story for a later blog entry...

Ah, I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow.......oh wait....

SATURDAY SCHOOL :'(

G'night Interwebs!

--HaufeCoffee